Trend Tuesdays:WTF is up with the stick on freckles?!

Remember the times growing up I would PRAY for my freckles to go away? Or the times when I was MERCIFULLY TEASED because I have freckles covering my face and arms? And for once, I am not exaggerating when I say COVERED. (Spoiler alert: kids are MEAN AF).

But NOW the new thing is stick on freckles….

Stick on freckles. Stick. On. Freckles.

WHAT IN THE FRESH HELL IS THIS?!

Recap: for the majority of my almost 30 years on this earth, my freckles were things I would try to get rid of and were not viewed as something that was conventionally beautiful. And now they’re a god damn beauty trend.


Look at this – it’s even being marketed as “the new makeup”. This is pretty much the equivalent of wearing colored contacts. Everyone knows you’re faking it, its usually horribly obvious, is it really worth it? And as if it wasn’t obnoxious as it is, they come in metallic versions. So you can look like you are going to a festival all the time. K.

Apparently they work in a similar manner to temporary tattoos. I say apparently, because as I have natural GOD GIVEN freckles, I have no need for these (for the record, NO ONE DOES). They last for 24-48 hours (or more if you don’t wash your face for a while – I’m not here to judge).  The kicker? These things run for $15-$25! You know what you can get with that money instead? A lot of Starbucks, for starters.

My final thoughts: if Mother Nature didn’t give you these face stars, trying to fake it isn’t a good look.

Unpopular opinion: I hate the fall

Now, I love boots and sweaters just as much as any basic bitch (remember that before you crucify me).  But the season itself? I can do without. So. Before you make me turn in my basic white girl card, hear me out.

You never really know what to wear.

It’s freezing in the morning, and by the time noon hits your clothes are drenched with sweat and you look like a drowned rat. Does this actually sound like fun to anyone? Anyone? Bueller? Didn’t think so. Mother Nature is too indecisive for me to enjoy this season. 

PSL/pumpkin spice everything is over rated. 

There. I said it. If you actually like PSL, you’re a liar. That sugary concoction is also a lie, as it contains no trace of real pumpkin. It’s a bunch of chemicals and it tastes like popurri. Not to mention, the pumpkin spice craze has gone TOO FAR when there’s PSL scented body wash. Too. Far.

Fall means summer is over. 

DO YOU ALL HATE THE BEACH AND SUNSHINE SO MUCH THAT YOU HAVE TO RUSH THROUGH IT FOR MEDICORE WEATHER?! Also it gets dark earlier. What is wrong with you people?!

Leaves are crunchy until it rains…

And then they become soggy and gross and slippery. Ever wipe out on some wet leaves? It’s more embarrassing than you think. Trust me.

Apple picking. 

You go and you leave with three bags of apples because you’re all excited about the Instagrams you can post during and the fact that it’s a “fall activity”. But then you’re stuck with three bags of apples. No one can eat that many before they go bad and you get fruit flies.

Fall means winter is coming. 

And no, that’s not a GOT reference (but feel free to leave gratituois pictures of Kit Harington in the comments). If anyone of you have experienced a northeast winter, you understand me. It’s miserable and lasts forever. And for those of you who live in NYC know that no one ever shovels properly and the snow turns into black slush a day later and it’s DISGUSTING.
So. There you have it. Fall is over rated. I really need to move to California.
Xoxo sweet and snarky

Cliche inspiration post

Finally, my first blog post.

I really had to dig deep to write this post, and had to go back to what inspired me to want to blog in the first place.  Its something I have been wanting to do for a while, but life/law school/procrastination kept getting in the way. As you can tell, its been a tough road getting here.

So, here’s a list of shit that inspires me on the regular:

  • Funny chicks like Amy Schumer, who are unapologetically themselves
  • The entire writing staff of betches.com
  • The fact that the Kardashians make millions by literally existing
  • My corporate job that pays the bills and treats me well but stifles my creativity
  • The Skimm and its founders – they left their corporate jobs and have built a little empire
  • My wonderful side hustlin’ friends

…just to name a few. But enough sappy – in the weeks to come we will discuss my dating life (or lack thereof), cult workouts, my shopping problem and the wonderful things it brings me, and reality TV. And by we, I of course mean me talking at you. This is a blog, not a gchat convo.

What inspires you? It doesn’t have to inspire you to do big things, either. It can be as simple as what inspired you to not walk out of your job today, or get out of bed.  Not all of us are saving lives here, and that’s totally ok. You don’t want me in the operating room, trust me.  So – let me know what keeps you inspired – it might just inspire me to not punch someone today.